Is the movie Spaceballs appropriate?

This is a question I wished I had asked myself before I let my 4 and 8 year old watch this movie. I remember it as being sort of funny in a Mel Brooks kind of way - a fairly light rip off of Star Wars.

The truth is that it isn't actually appropriate for little kids. Many swear words - tons of "shit" and "asshole" and a few "bitch".

They thought it was SUPER funny though and laughed like maniacs.

I had better not hear them repeating those words. Or else!

Bob and Doug McKenzie

On the way home from the ski hill on Christmas eve a song came on the radio in the truck. Bob and Doug McKenzie singing the 12 days of Christmas. (if you were raised in a cave see the link below)
http://youtu.be/l2oPio60mK4

Now I have heard this song every year for many years and it always makes me smile but I was totally caught off guard by the kids reaction to it. 

The lyrics look like this (they only get as far as 8 items)
8 comic books, 
7 packs of smokes, 
6 packs of two-four , 
5 golden tuques, 
4 pounds of back bacon , 
3 French toasts, 
2 turtlenecks, 
and a beer in a tree

The boys were cracking up at the 5 golden tuques. They said it over and over and over again. My oldest said "That part is so funny I am actually crying with laughter" and he was! He was doubled over laughing and tears were streaming down his face. All the way home they sang it  - over and over and like the excellent mom I am I tuned it right out.

That is until the half an hour mark - I tuned back in and heard what they were really singing.

"Five golden toots" 

Oh boys and their potty humor ......... But if you listen closely it does sound sort of like toots

tee hee

My friend Charissa sent me this - totally how I felt all December!

Merry Christmas!!!

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year - I will take a little break for a couple of days to enjoy the holiday with my husband and kids

Ug! Come on people

Our neighbors across the street are moving - or at least we hope they are....... The house is up for sale but so far no one has bought it.

Now as neighbors go they are not actually that bad. They are a blended family with 7 kids between them from elementary school right up to college. They say hi when outside and mow the lawn. Like I said - hardly nightmare neighbors.

However there have been a few "incidents". 

Strike 1 was in May. They had a super loud party where the teens were outside screaming at each other and they woke up the neighborhood. We are an early to bed either because we have little kids or we are really old. Late night parties are rare and pretty unwelcome.

Strike 2 is their little cat. I love him - he's hilarious and likes to pretend to attack us when we walk by. He helped me get the gardens ready for fall by attacking my hair and if it was up to me I would kidnap him. But my husband feels much differently. The cat was using our front garden as a litter box and that drives my husband crazy. So not only can I not steal the little funny cat, he isn't allowed to hang out with us in the yard anymore.

Strike 3 was just this week. We had a big snow fall (big for us which is 5 - 10cm). the rest of us shoveled our snow onto our lawns like you are supposed to. THEY shoveled it all into the middle of the road. We almost got stuck when we were driving home. Super annoying AND against bylaw.

Move Move Move people

Are you wearing pants?

A friend of mine had a FB conversation about tight wearing in public Are they pants? Are you going to Yoga? Are they see through? Do you have something over top of them?

You will never see me in Yoga pants in public unless I am going to or coming back from a run OR am very very very ill. This is my promise to you . Now at home is a different story - I am pretty much a PJ and bathrobe kind of girl as soon as I get back into the house. But that is a topic for another day

One of her friends posted this link and it made me laugh

Bacon

Is so good - and I found funny t shirts that share the love
Super funny

Don't lend books to friends unless you want their honest opinion

I like Sci Fi (broad term I actually like the Fantasy part of sci fi so not the space but the dragons etc) which is not a typical "girl" genre. 

A few years ago my husbands co worker recommended a series of books in that Genre and even lent me the first in the series to get me started. The book was called Eragon and I loved it! I read it in 2 days and I was hooked! It was exciting, magical and a real adventure

Written by Christopher Paolini (when he was 15)  The book tells the story of a young farm boy named Eragon, who finds a mysterious stone in the mountains. A dragon he later names Saphria hatches from the stone, which was really an egg. When the evil King finds out about Eragon and his dragon, he sends his servants, the Ra'zac, after them in an effort to capture them. Eragon and Saphira are forced to flee from their hometown, and decide to search for the Varden, a group of rebels who want to see the downfall of Galbatorix.

yeah yeah - Sci Fi Fantasy is always complicated and has lots of weird hard to pronounce names.

There are 4 books in the series, each longer and more complicated than the last. In fact the last book was so intense it took me 2 weeks to read. I had to read a bit at time, absorbing it and thinking about it before I could keep reading. AND the wait between books was years and years, which was a titch annoying.

I lent the first and second books to my friend Ryan. I knew he was a fellow Sci Fi fan like myself and had enjoyed some of his recommendations (Enders Game was very good). He took a while to read it and when he did his conclusions RUINED THE BOOK FOR ME.

This is what he said 
"The book Eragon seemed to follow the original star wars plot line. Boy lives with uncle and leaves on a journey to fight an evil empire. Bet you anything the King is actually his father"

Ah crap. He's right. Thanks a lot Ryan. It had never occurred to me. Now I am going to have to reread the whole series again . grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr There is a month of my life gone

That is not appropriate

I will start off by saying in the city we live in, the minor hockey program makes parents take an online respect in sport course to teach us to be kind and not to over react in sport (read into this DO not be that yelling parent on the bench). The result is that all games are actually fairly mellow. We all cheer and yell supportive things like "Good Job kiddo" etc and my husband and I are for sure not "those" parents - you know the yellers.

So with this background information in hand you can better understand this story. 

After my son's last game we were driving home from the rink and having a bit of a post game discussion (as we often do). My son is a talker, not a fighter and this reflects in his hockey playing style. He is just happy to be on the ice, with other kids and he has very good team playing skills - supportive, caring and kind. Sometimes though, it would be nice if he got in there and dug around for the puck a little. Or even went for it at all........

I said to him "you have to go after it, dig for it and be a bit of a bull dog out there. A crazy little bull dog"

Our youngest son (also in the car) piped up with "Mom, that is not appropriate".

I am not sure how it is not appropriate but I guess I had better let him play whatever style hockey he wants. Don't want to turn into "that parent"...........

Charlie Brown - timeless???

Around Halloween I was at Starbucks having a cup of tea with a friend and happened to notice the free app cards by the till. One of them was a Charlie Brown "great pumpkin" story. I am not an iphoner so I got my husband to down load it onto his phone and then read it to our youngest at bed time. It is actually a pretty cool app, the story is interactive - the kids can touch the screen and make the characters dance and that sort of thing. 

We figured that the little one would enjoy it but we completely underestimated how much he would enjoy it. He LOVED it. He laughed at the funny parts and was concerned about the arrival of the great pumpkin at the right time. It is now December and we are just now able to read him other stories at bed time.

More recently we PVR'd (I can't say we taped it because no one tapes anything anymore) the Charlie Brown Christmas movie. With their popcorn buckets full and and PJ's on they watched a movie that debuted in 1965 and has been watched by millions every year at Christmas time. In fact I think both my husband and I watched it on TV at about the same age.  They laughed and enjoyed it as much as we did when we were little.

Maybe it will still be cool when they have kids?

Can you have a pre teen at age 8?

My oldest got his hair cut this week - it was starting to grow into his eyes and that just won't do. So off to see Rebecca we went. He came out with a teenager hair cut - all spiked up in the front and he thought he looked pretty good (and he did) and was full of his own vanity for an entire night.

This morning I hear a call from the bathroom - "MOM help!". I walked in to see that he had used his dad's styling cream in the front of his hair and he used A LOT. It was like glue in there. I asked "WHAT were you thinking?". He replied "I wanted to stud it up in the front but I didn't know how."

sigh.

double sigh

Stud it up?

cover my eyes and sigh

So I told him that I would show him how to do that tomorrow but for today we had to wash it out (or chip it out with a chisel)

Can he be a pre teen at age 8?

So not ready for this

Lawn mower??????

On the way to preschool the other day, my youngest said the funniest thing:

He said "MOM! There is a guy over there lawn mowing his snow! What is he doing that for? He is going to wreck his lawn mower". 

I looked over to see what he was talking about and saw a man snow blowing his driveway. 

I guess he can't remember when we used the snow blower when we lived up north and can't remember what they look like. What a funny little goose that kid is.

Instead of a bake exchange this season try a mug exchange

My friend Ry-Ann started a new trend last year and I think it is a good one.

For a couple of years she had done bake exchanges. You bake however many dozen of whatever and then everyone leaves with a couple dozen different treats. This has been fun to do in the past before we entered what I call the "allergy zone". Now that we are in that zone I can't really participate in those type of events anymore.

So last year Ry-Ann said "why don't we do a mug exchange? Pick a mug and fill it with a theme and then we'll exchange it so everyone goes home with a mug". It was an experiment and it turned out AWESOME. I picked Connie's bag and I got a pretty owl mug, a pickle ornament (funniest thing ever http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_pickle ) and some scratch and wins. It was great!

This year she had to firm up the rules a bit - make a limit (last year someone put a bunch of hockey tickets in .....way to make us all look cheap) and include a $5 GC to our favourite coffee/tea place. She also had an ugly Christmas sweater component but I didn't have time to look for one so missed that bit. This year I got a tile mosaic mug filled with girly pamper type things. Very pleased. 

And I don't have to share with the boys and it was all GF! Whoot! I am already thinking about my theme for next year

(only downside what that Ry-Ann has not 1 but 2 stupid stupid creepy butt head elves and they spent most of the evening staring at me with their vacant butt head expressions)

ARG! I Can't take it anymore

Please, please please - what did I do to deserve this? Do I have to stay of FB for the entire Christmas season? Or block everyone I know? What is the answer???? Elf on the shelf is EVERYWHERE - FB, Pinterest, TV the news. EVERYWHERE

Every morning, every evening pretty much all the time people are posting "cute" things their elf has done. Those zany little butt heads get into everything. 

Here is my question  - If you want your kids to be good for Santa then why do you allow the creepy little ring leader to be so bad? Should he not be setting a good example? Doing chores? Cleaning the toilet and taking out the garbage? If I was a kid I would think "hmmmmmmmmm creepy butt head elf is bad, maybe I should be too - Santa clearly thinks it is funny".

Almost over, almost over

This is what I see many many times a day (Go F your self stupid stupid elf)

Making a list and checking it twice

I mail out about 60 Christmas cards (and hand out another 15 or so) every year. Some years it felt like I didn't get a response from the people that I sent them too, which is frustrating. I put all this time and effort into the cards and I hear nothing back (and some of these people are MY family).

So last year I came up with a plan. I keep my addresses on an excel spreadsheet for ease of mail merge creation and by extension label printing. Last year I added a column - this column recorded whether or not I had received a card, note or call back. And because I am a dork I colour coded it. Blue means they communicated, yellow means they didn't. After two years of no communication you are on the chopping block. Like the soup Nazi on Seinfeld "NO CARD FOR YOU"

Exceptions are if you are blood relation (like my sister and parents)  or over 60 (some of my husbands great aunts are pretty old and enjoy the newsletters but can't respond for whatever reason).

Surprisingly last year there were quite a few more blue squares than I had thought. But we'll see this year............

ba humbug!

Interpretation of the national anthem

My youngest found a microphone in the odd sock bin (isn't that where you keep your microphones?) and started busting out the national anthem. Sort of anyway.........

"Oh Canada
our home is made in land
true pitch in la
our home is safe in la"

That is where it went south and he started yelling into the microphone.

The oldest one sang the whole thing rather well though.

Then they went into the living room and played hockey

Game on!

Time to get the dog a hair cut

I can no longer see the dog's eyeballs when she is looking at me. Her hair (do dogs have bangs?) has grown so much since we got her in September and she has gone from a bright white dog to a sort of beige/cream coloured dog. Time for a grooming I'd say.

The problem with getting her groomed is 2 fold. 1. It just got cold here and it is probably not fair to shave her off in the dead of winter. and 2. It is super expensive. She's a big dog (my mom said she was medium sized but that was a lie) and I think her grooming runs upwards of $80 a shot. That is almost as much as it costs to get my hair cut and coloured!!!!

But in about 2 inches I am not even going to able to tell she has eyes so I had better suck it up and call for an appointment. If she gives me a dirty look I can't really tell so what is the harm?

I wonder if I could just cut her dog bangs? Wonder if I would do a good job?

Old Man Winter

You know, there are lots of good things about living on the top of a hill. We have a nice view and if there is ever a flood I am pretty sure we'll be OK. But there are some downsides - one is it is windy, very very windy.

Old man winter has decided to come and visit changing the temperature from +3 to -9 in 12 hours and bringing snow and high winds. These high winds have created snow drifts in the driveway high as an elephants eye (oh yes a musical reference).

What to do, what to do. My husband is at work and I may eventually have to leave the house and I am not sure I can get the car down the driveway without getting stuck. I guess I will have to suck it up and go out there. The weather network says the wind makes it feel like -19..........

Update

I feel frozen, may never feel my legs again but it is shoveled. My husband better appreciate this - and the wind better keep it clear and not pile up more snow.........

Stupid winter bet this doesn't happen in Mexico

Santa countdown = big stress

This is my children's favorite house in our neighborhood. It has a tremendous timed light show and a radio station that plays lovely Christmas music. The picture doesn't do it justice I promise!!! 

The Santa on the top balcony has a Christmas count down with bright red numbers. Every time we drive by it the boys say "only 27, 26, 25 days until Christmas".
I like the lights, I like the music, but the Santa has to go. He serves as a reminder that the time I have to get things done is slipping away. That guy is stressing me out big time.
How on earth did it get to be December already?

So much to do, and thanks to this guy reminding me, so little time

You know you have that friend........

on FB who is a health and fitness person. They post constantly about healthy eating or xconditioning or the great work out they had. But the second someone (obviously not me) says something like "great for you but getting tired of these posts, don't you do ANYTHING else with your life????" they get super offended and post things like the picture below.

Don't get me wrong I am so glad that you are making yourself better and are making the change towards health and happiness. But check yourself once and a while. Sometimes it comes out as a bit naggy and occasionally preachy and no one really enjoys reading that day after day. Right?

In this house we are gluten free - not because it is a trendy choice but because my husband and son react badly to it and get really sick. Do I hassle everyone about it? Nope - I started a private FB group for people like me who want to exchange ideas etc. That way I am not bugging people.......

I also run 6-7km 3 days a week - do I rub that in people's faces? Nope - I do it because it makes me feel sane and relaxed. I also sit on the couch and eat chocolate chips and watch TV (on the off days) and that makes me happy too. See - happy balance.

Take a step back and evaluate if you are one of those people. If you are, lighten up....... please.......
 
This picture says to me "I am defensive about my life choices" Touchy Touchy people.

Cabbage Patch kids turn 30

This year marks the 30th anniversary of the Cabbage Patch Doll. The launch of this doll created a fever in the North American Continent that remains the stuff of legends.The company underestimated demand for the dolls and there were not enough made initially. People punching each other out, trampling each other to get a doll. Long line ups, bribing store employees, wait lists and more. (fistacuffs anyone?)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sOlIvx7Pvs#t=18

My sister and I got ours the same year on my birthday (her birthday is a month later and she had an amazing temper, she is spicy and very entertaining to this day, and was younger (like maybe 3) and the concept of waiting was not one she was into at that time). How I remember the story of them getting the dolls goes like this.

back in the 80's
My mom and dad went to the USA (north dakota) on a shopping trip leaving us with Grandpa and Grandma. They waited in line for hours and hours and hours to get the dolls for us. I find this sort of hard to reconcile with my one parent anyway. My dad, if there is even 1 person ahead of him in line at a store, will put the stuff down and leave the store. He is also the person in the 12 items or less line that will count your items and say "13 items? My.......you are gutsy". Did he really wait in line for more than 10 min? Doubtful. But I bet my mom did.

Anyway, I had a blonde yarn hair doll named Emma Jane and my sister had a brown yarn haired doll named Holly Anne - very wholesome all American mid west names. Each doll came with an "adoption" certificate and a tattoo on the dolls bum cheek. I still have the certificate in my baby book. This year I found out my friend had a doll named Ludemilla Emanuella - wow that would be hard to say when you were 5. 

I only ever got one - which is perfectly fine - but I was always sort of envious of an elementary school chum who had 6 or 7. She was the only girl in the family and sort of spoiled. She had one with corn silk hair and she had a baby one. She might have even had a cabbage patch kid of colour, which for Manitoba was the most exotic thing ever!! She also had every my little pony in the collection but let's not go there right now. I can remember holding the corn silk hair doll and thinking how lucky she was to have it and how much I wanted one.

I have boys now so I don't get to go down toy memory lane very often. But maybe they will have girls one day and then they can play with Emma Jane who currently lives in a tote in the basement.

The basic model and the corn silk hair model

FB Quizzes

I usually gloss over FB quizzes because who has time, right? But between the steam cleaning and the chocolate chip eating this week I found myself with a little extra time on my hands. So I caved - I did the quiz "What colour is your Aurua"

Here are the results (my opinions are in red)

Your Aura is Blue!

Personality: Blue’s are very loyal and can be the truest friend any aura could hope to find.  Damn straight - remember that friends

On the inside, blues tend to be emotional and even a bit moody. So - moody is hipster and that is very IN right now

However, you know that other auras depend on you, so you put on a strong front. They tend to live a quiet but enriching life.  

Blues are very giving of them and is hard to let go of relationships. They believe the key to living a good life is simple: Be as honest with yourselves and others as possible. I have been told I am too honest and that people don’t like that. Wimps

They value the truth over everything else. Blue will remain loyal to those who are honest with them, even if their honesty hurts. Compared to most other auras, blues handle the truth very well. They take every event into stride. Ummmmm sure – let’s go with that

Blues are the calm spot in a sea of chaos. They think that the solution to most problems is open communication; they wish that people would be more real with each other. A Blue personality uses its five physical senses to access information. An emotionally driven personality, you need to be liked and accepted. It is one of the "needs" that can cause apprehension in your personality. Just keeping it real over here

You are a polite, cooperative person who seeks to create conflict-free surroundings. You possess highly developed powers of observation. Family is important to you and you sometimes find yourself in the role of being a caretaker. My parents will be glad to hear this – maybe I’ll be good to them in their senior years

You are conservative, reliable and trustworthy - you are quite trusting of others although you are very wary in the beginning until you are sure of the other person. You are not impulsive- you always think before you speak and act and do everything at your own pace in your own time. You take time to process and share your feelings. You are genuine and sincere, and you take your responsibilities seriously. True except when I lose my temper at meetings – then the truth bit comes out

 You have a deep need for peace and harmony in your everyday life. You appear to be confident and self-controlled, but may be hiding your vulnerable side. You are generally fairly even-tempered, unless your emotions take over - then you can become either moody and over-emotional, or cool and indifferent. Ack - busted

You are sensitive to the needs of others. While you are friendly and sociable, you prefer the company of your own close group of friends. You are a rescuer and love to be needed. You can be rigid - you like to stick to what is familiar to you- you stubbornly do things your way even if there is a better way. Untidiness and unpredictability overwhelm you. You don't like to draw attention to yourself. While you don't like to have discord or conflict in your life, you are often the cause of conflict with others; you can be quite manipulative but in a very subtle way. Rigid – who are YOU calling rigid? That is IT you are off the Friend Island AND I am taking all my friends with me just to spite you

You make a loyal and faithful marriage partner and you are an honest, trustworthy and sincere friend. You are aware of others feelings and sensitive to the moods of others. You are approachable and friendly, always making people feel welcome in your life. You have a thirst for knowledge in order to gain wisdom and appear knowledgeable in whatever area interests you. You can be too cautious and worry about every little thing. Worry is good for you – right?

Seriously - Stupid STUPID elf has started already

I was under the impression that the very stupid elf on the shelf started on December 1st or at the very earliest after American Thanksgiving. I am mentally prepared to block, hide and roll my eyes when my girl friends start posting the "look what my cute elf did last night" pictures. 

"oh look - Danny the shelf elf got into the syrup and was a little hammered" etc

But I have seen pictures much earlier this year - earlier than I had anticipated. I guess it makes sense to have the elf visit on the 24th - then you have a whole month of silly elf antics but it is taxing. There is even a spiffy web site http://www.elfontheshelf.com/

He's EVERYWHERE - going to be such a long season

I shall dub this - Steam cleaning week

Everyone has a dirty little secret. You thought mine was the oven, didn't you. WRONG! It is the ensuite. We have what I like to call a space tub which is actually fairly difficult to get clean. You have to be in the tub to scrub at certain parts of it and it has jets that clog up with gunk. As no one ever uses it but Hubby and I it rarely gets the scrubbing it deserves....

Until today. I took the steam cleaner to it and man is it amazing! All the gunk and scaly build up is gone and the vents are gunk free and working like new. I could even have a bath if I wanted (but I don't). The only down side is that one of the stupid space doors came off the hinges during a vigorous scrubbing and now I have to wait until my husband gets home from work to put it back on.

I wonder what else I clean this week? 

4 out of 5 Dentists recommend hockey

Gearing up for a big hockey tournament this weekend for our oldest. It is his first year in organized hockey and he is SO SUPER excited. He doesn't even care if he scores a goal or if they lose terribly. He is excited about the medal he knows he is going to get afterwards.

I decided to volunteer on the raffle basket committee, mostly because it sounded fun and I know the score clock is above my skill set. Turns out it is fun, and I have to buy the stuff for 2 baskets, a Spa basket and a wine lovers basket. I thought spending other peoples money was going to be a bit more fun though. So far I am just worried that I am buying the wrong things and that no one is going to like them.

All the stuff is due this week so better get on it. Liquor store here I come (for the baskets, not the stress)

Super power steam cleaner

We borrowed our friend's super high powered (and mega expensive) steam cleaner. Has lots of pressure and can blast the crap out of just about every crevice in the house. Its appeal is cleaning and disinfecting without chemicals.  I was a bit skeptical at first - I mean really how well can it clean? Right? And for the price you could have a cleaning lady once a week for 6 months!!!

Well - let me tell you!!! Our windows are 20 years old and the seals are starting to go and it is windy where we live. The result is the sills are always dusty and actually pretty dirty. It can be a tough spot to clean and quite frankly cleaning is not really my thing to start with. So that is where we started the steam cleaning experiment. We steamed and scrubbed and the dirt was gone!!! 

But was it a fluke?

The true test has to be something more difficult, something gross, something tough to clean. Only one logical choice - the oven. It has baked on gunk from not only us but the people who built the house. The super steam cleaner has several attachments including a steel brush for those tough greasy messes. I have to say that with a little elbow grease, a lot of steam (note in a small space it is harder to see what you are doing) and the steel brush, my oven looks AMAZING. Like almost brand new.

I think this week might be a steam cleaning experiment. Up next the grout in the entrance way.

Stay tuned

Schadenfreude

Sigh - Schadenfreude backfired big time last night

It all started right before bed when my husband checked the weather on his phone. As we often do he checked the weather of the northern city where we used to live. We started this as a make our selves feel better about moving habit and it has just kind of stuck. We would sit in our new, much warmer climate and laugh at how cold our former home was. Not very mature but it is what it is. We also check the weather in sunny places we have visited in an effort to remember that it is not winter everywhere.

Last night he said "Hey it is -20 in PG tonight, brrrrrrrr" then we laughed a little about their poor misfortune and went to bed.

Woke up this morning to -15 C here! -friggin15!!!!!!!!! (when we went to bed it was -1)

Not cool Karma, not cool

Thanks but no thanks

My youngest son asked of we could get a baby this morning. I asked him if he meant we could look after one and give it back at the end of the day kind of thing. But nope - he meant we should have a little baby in the house. 

Ack - Panic - NO THANK YOU!

I will admit that we make the most beautiful babies in the world and having a little girl in the house would be cool. But then when I wake up at 8am on the weekends and sleep a good 9hrs in a row I remember why we decided against baby #3. Or when the kids are fighting with each other or screaming in public or trying to dash away from me in a store. 

When I feel frazzled by the end of the day, or feel like hitting the wine by after school I remember that a baby prolongs this for at least 5 more years.

I mean he says he wants a baby now, but he also wants a kitty and to be a pirate so he can't exactly be trusted to make good decisions.

But just as a test I am going to look after a 7 week old baby tomorrow while his mom gets her hair done. We'll see how everyone feels about babies after that.........................

For real?

Movie night at the school - lots of kids and parents and snacks and actual chaos at the start of the evening. To add to this a parent let her son bring his bearded Dragon (just inside his coat, no glass container) to the event and then didn't supervise him.

I caught him tormenting other children with the poor beastie and found his mother and asked her to make sure he kept the thing in his jacket (that is how it arrived). Twice I had to tell the kid to put the thing away before it ran away and got squished.

Honestly what went through this parents head when her son said "I am going to bring Mr. Bojangles to the movies Mom"? Seriously the answer should always be NO

So for the next event I have to have a disclaimer that says "no pets please"?

Common sense people, common sense

Bursting

You know that moment when you've planned something and it is a huge hit and everyone is so happy and pleased and thanking you. In that moment that you have to smile and say something nonchalant like "oh it was nothing"

But what you really are BURSTING to say is "YES, I am AWESOME and now I plan to take over the world (insert evil laughter)."

I had that moment tonight - planned a school event and it was a huge success with accolades coming from all sides. Outside cool as a cucumber, inside a giddy school kid. 

They like me, they really like me.

Downside is that I will have to be the president for the rest of my life..........

I need to be friends with this lady

So I have Davida to thank for introducing me to this blog -"People I want to punch in the throat." Written by Jen it is a collection of very very amusing entries about everything from the stupid elf to evil lululemon. 

This blog entry made me laugh out loud!!!

http://www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com/2013/11/lululemons-yoga-pants-arent-problem-you.html#more

Disclaimer - I own 3 Lululemon things and they are all headbands. I have never understood the appeal of spending $100 on a pair of pants you are supposed to sweat in. I buy the cheap ones at Costco for running and they don't wear out or show my bum and they cost $20! And since I only wear them to exercise and not out socially they get sweated in a lot.


I wonder if this Jen lady wants to hang out and we can talk about the people and things that need a good punch in the throat????

6" 2 with eyes of blue.....

Ok so my husband is just under 6"2 and his eyes are hazel but you get the idea.
He has a cold, and actually a pretty bad one. But he refused to take nighttime cold medication because he says it makes him crazy and then groggy in the morning so the result is that he snores all night long. Not cool and not good for me.

One night I slept in the basement bedroom - why should I you ask? He is the one with the cold you say. Well he went to bed first so it was my obligation to move to the basement.
Another night I shook him really hard and he woke up all scared and disoriented. Which was funny but didn't stop the snoring. Yet another night I thought about the thin line between love and wanting to smother. I do love him but I also sort of thought about smothering him.

At least he is not being a wuss about it and he hasn't said anything about my sleep deprived grumpies so I guess I can stand it for a few more nights.

But I think I will get to bed first tonight so he has to go downstairs, it is cold down there

Pity Party over at table 1

Feeling sad - hormones combined with challenging children behavior and the time change has finally beat me down. Bursts of random tears (mine) and a strong urge to eat chocolate chips seems to be the norm over the past few nights. Got to shake off these pre winter blues before the REAL winter blues come.

A few weeks back I took a few Yoga classes as part of a fundraiser for my son's school PAC and I have to say it was great. The main part of the classes was hard and I sweated, and I stretched out muscles I didn't know I had. I also discovered that I am extremely inflexible when it comes to anything involving my ham strings - ouch they are super tight.  The last portion of the yoga class was a 10 minute relaxation portion that left me feeling fantastic, lavender scented eye pillow anyone? Maybe the answer to all life's problems is Yoga?

Or maybe it is chocolate chips - or maybe both? Will keep you posted

Kids music - stuck in my head

We listen to a lot of kids music around this house. Sometimes all day every day. I actually like it, it is upbeat and usually pretty funny. There have been a couple of songs in our house lately that have kind of got stuck in my head - like a brain worm. And every time you think you have it out of your head BAM there it is again!

The first one is called "Rock Melon" - about an eel that chucks melon balls. You say to yourself "this song doesn't even make sense" and you are right. Yet there it is, stuck in my head. Rock Melon, Rock Rock Melon. Now I hope it is stuck in your head too!

http://youtu.be/kuDt2nGRjXo


Another one is the famous "what does the fox say". I think the boys have watched it on You Tube 10 times and laugh at the same parts every time (the old man howling at the story reading and the fox at the end dancing). Seems innocent and harmless enough and also doesn't actually make a lot of sense either but it is actually a very very dangerous brain worm! Doing innocent things like cooking dinner it will pop out of my mouth almost by accident. The boys think it is hilarious!!!

 http://youtu.be/jofNR_WkoCE

And a blast from my childhood that the kids enjoy as well

 http://youtu.be/8N_tupPBtWQ

This one is a punk rock song that the kids dad and I really really like and when it comes on the satellite radio we sing along. Never knew the kids were listening until we heard my youngest sing "and a roast tattoo and a roast tattoo, got your name written here on a roast tattoo"

 http://youtu.be/9d8SzG4FPyM

Phew - so good to share the brain worms - maybe they will go away??

If all your friends are doing it and you think it is silly……..do you jump on the bandwagon?

So – it is almost that time again. Elf on the stupid shelf time. All of my girlfriends do it. They post on FB about it, they pin ideas on their boards about it and try to outdo each other every year in some sort of creepy puppet competition.

What IS Elf on the shelf you ask yourself? Well…… let me tell you……. The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition is a 2005 children’s picture book, written and self-published by American author Carol Aebersold and daughter Chanda Bell and illustrated by Coë Steinwart, featuring a Christmas-themed tale, written in rhyme, that explains how Santa knows who is naughty and who is nice.Each book comes with an "elf" who you have to name and care for

The Plot (according to Wikipedia) is The poetic story dictates that the elf's main priority around the family's household is to keep watch over the children's behavior during the day and return to the North Pole overnight to report their behavior to Santa Claus, detailing any acts of obedience or misdeeds performed by a child during that particular day, returning home by the following morning. Starting from the day following Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve, the elf remains with its family to ensure that they behave properly throughout the holidays. However, the top policy regarding the Elf on the Shelf is to refrain from touching the creature, as doing so could permanently erase any Christmas magic with which the elf had been bestowed upon being named by the family. It is no longer capable of fulfilling its duties of recounting the events of the day to Santa Claus, cautioning that he may or may not learn about a child's behavior should the Elf on the Shelf be stripped of its holiday enchantment. Every day, the elf's position changes, providing the family with the responsibility of locating its current perch before its departure for the year on Christmas Eve.

Basically speaking the Elf (with whatever cute name you name him) is a spy for the “man”, an informant to “big brother” and as kids you have to go and find him to ensure he reports favourably about your behavior. Or look out no pressies. Don’t touch the elf or bad stuff happens – really bad stuff. There are sites dedicated to “re-magicking” your elf if one of your kids accidently touches him. Sigh.

Do kids think it is fun? – probably

Is it creepy? – a little

Do I sound like an 85 year old grump? – yes

Are my kids hard done by because we don’t do it? - no

So what to do?

I could go the religious route but I am not sure a “find baby Jesus” game would be as fun and it would probably be blasphemous if we put baby Jesus in a marshmallow snowball fight with one of the boys toys. Or I could just block all elf related posts. My boys eagerly anticipate the arrival of Santa old school (like all children pre stupid elf did) so I can’t say that we are entirely all about the reason for the season. Maybe I just feel like it is one more thing that I have to do as a parent to ensure my kids grow up normal and happy like all the other kids? Is that why it annoys me so much? The fact that not doing it makes me feel like a lousy mom?

I guess in the spirit of the season I should just grit my teeth and say nothing when people chatter about the funniest thing doby the house elf did that morning and let people have their jollies. After all maybe they find my love of Christmas carols just as annoying and are gritting their teeth as well.

http://antielfontheshelf.blogspot.ca/p/pig-on-twig.html?

http://mockingwords.blogspot.ca/2011/12/anti-elfs-on-shelfs.html

see – not alone……